An open letter to the girl that spent Valentine’s Day alone.

Author: Ranata Wright

Whew! We can all breathe that deep sigh of relief that Valentine’s Day is finally over. Whether you believe in the actual holiday or believe that it’s all just propaganda, it’s pretty difficult to turn a blind eye to that lovey dovey ambiance that’s taken over your neighborhood drugstore and grocery store. Some of you may have spent yesterday basking in the love from your spouse or significant others. Exchanging gifts, posting #BaeGoals on the gram etc. And while I truly hope that your day was enjoyable, this isn’t for you.

This letter is for the girl who partied hard with her gals on Galentine’s Day. Who spent the evening indulging in multiple rose colored cocktails to mask the feeling that on Valentine’s Day when her girls are visibly in love, she’d be alone. This is for the girl who is cringing at the thought of scrolling through social media because seeing the ostentatious displays of affection will serve as a reminder that your king hasn’t found you yet and at this point, you’re unsure if he’s even looking for you. Lastly, this is for girl who had to sit at the office that has suddenly been transformed into a floral shop for the day and smile through it all while ignoring that tinge of jealousy that keeps hitting her in the chest. This sis, is for you.

Girl, I know that feeling all too well. I know how it is to have that tug of war taking place in your mind where one part of you is adamant on not settling for less and the other part of you is dying to know, “Is something wrong with me?” I get it sis! I do. This is why I’m writing this to you with love and I’m hoping that you receive this with love. Valentine’s Day may have absolutely sucked for you and that’s ok, but until your time comes, this is what I need you to do.

First things first: Love yourself so deeply, thoroughly and immensely. I know it’s easier said than done, but it can definitely be done. Self love sets the tone for the type of love you wish to attract. When people see the way you love yourself and show up for yourself, the rest of the world has no choice but to follow suit. Make self love apart of your daily routine. Pamper yourself, be kind to yourself, speak well to yourself. Do not wreck your brain another day figuring out Ciara’s prayer, Russell’s prayer or Cassie’s prayer. Those people’s prayers aren’t your business. Say a prayer for you! Pray that you’ll find the strength and tenacity to do the work within so that you’ll be complete whenever said person comes along. Write an ongoing list of all of the wonderful qualities about yourself because some days you may forget how great you are. A part of self love is self improvement and self reflection. Put in all the effort that goes into being the best version of yourself. Remember, what you wish to manifest on the outside has to first manifest on the inside. When you have down time, do some self reflecting. Be open and honest about your shortcomings. If there’s something that you don’t like about yourself, CHANGE THAT SHIT! Easy, right?

Lastly, just BE. Stand flat footed with your face to the sky and embrace this season of your life. Focus on the good things about your life. Your identity isn’t tied to another person. You don’t need that to make you whole. Is it nice to have that special someone? Yes, it is nice. But you know what’s also nice? You. You are wonderful. You are worthy. You deserve the good things that are coming your way. But in order to receive that you have to believe that. In the meantime and between time, make everyday Valentine’s Day for yourself. You’ll find that it’s so gratifying. Set the standard for everyone so that when they step to you, they have to step correct. If no one told you yesterday, here goes. I LOVE YOU GIRLLLLL! After you read this, go look in the mirror and tell yourself the same thing. I LOVE YOU GIRLLLL! Repeat as often as necessary.

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