“Big Booty Problems”: The Cost of Cosmetic Surgery (on your pockets and your health)

There was a time when we’d see celebrities lose weight then suddenly grow larger breasts and “ass-ets” and we’d gaze in awe and amazement as they’d tell us all about their lemonade and grapefruit diets coupled with just a few minutes a week in the gym. That’s all we had to do and we’d look like them in a snap! (Insert eye roll here.)

It seems like right around the time social media began having a major influence on our way of life, image took a major front seat… and so did major cosmetic procedures. Everyone wanted to look like the celebs. Flat stomach. Big booty. Perky, large tits… and the medical industry banked on it. After physicians with a specialty in Physical Therapy and Rehabilitation, plastic surgery is the second largest class of medical specialties in the US. They’re also the highest paid with an average annual salary of $501,000. That’s over half a million dollars on average… and for good reason. The industry is booming.

According to Women’s Health Magazine, the most common invasive plastic surgery procedures are: breast augmentation ($4,900-$7,900), liposuction ($1,500-$7,000 depending on area), rhinoplasty ($9,000-$10,000), eyelid surgery ($2,400-$4,500) and a tummy tuck ($7,000-$12,500). Most common non-invasive procedures included: Botox ($25-$1,150), soft tissue fillers ($650-$1200 per syringe), chemical peels ($150-$3,500), microdermabrasion ($100-$300), and laser hair removal ($400-$850).

The setting of cosmetic surgery has also changed. Just like a nail shop or hair salon, medi-spas are popping up in just about every major metropolitan area. Walk right in and get a Botox treatment or just about any other noninvasive treatment procedure.

What’s most dangerous is black market “providers” who perform procedures in homes and motel rooms. Yes, that’s just how bad this image obsession has gotten. There’s been reports of common household items being injected into the buttox area to give it a more plump look for a quarter of the price you’d pay in medical offices but quadruple the health risk. In my best Sweet Brown voice, “Ain’t nobody got time for that!”

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The most common cosmetic surgery complications include: infection, nerve damage, deep vein thrombosis or pulmonary embolism (Yikes! That’s super serious), unsightly scarring, hematoma (which is a pocket of blood that resembles a large dark bruise), and necrosis (tissue death – it’s ugly y’all!) among other complications. And according to the Journal of Cutaneous and Aesthetic Surgery, of course, the incidence of complications is higher when the procedures are performed in salons, spas, and by untrained persons.
Honestly, as a person who’s lived with a large bottom all her life… it can be a real pain looking for clothing, finding appropriate clothes for professional environments and wondering if guys are interested in you because of who you are or how you look in that dress. So my advice is: Save your money. Buy a good Victoria Secret push up bra and some nice booty pads and love you, sis… because cosmetic surgeries are just like cars. They need tune ups every now and again and it’ll keep your pockets on E. Then before you know it the trend will have changed. “Big booties out… lil booties in. No money in the bank. How will you do it all again?”

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