Navigating Bisexuality in a Heterosexual Relationship

It’s no secret, there are thousands of bisexual women in heterosexual relationships and marriages. But don’t get it twisted, this looks different for every bisexual individual. Some women are open with their partners. There are women who tuck their bisexual appetites away because they are with a man. And some women just plan ole’ hide it or regret sharing it with their partners all together. Just in case you’re confused and you’ve been wondering how to handle bisexuality in a heterosexual relationship… keep reading.

Watch out for manipulative men

Believe it or not, there are men who cling to bisexual women for the ”perks.” Normally, these men wouldn’t be in a relationship because of their need to play around. But, once they’ve learned you’re into women sexually, they start to consider a serious relationship with you. This is ONLY because he thinks the relationship will be filled with ménage à trois and he’s about to live the life of the cream between Oreos. You’ve given him a way to have someone close to him and random women whenever he wants. This is definitely a huge red flag. If he starts becoming super interested once you’ve shared your sexual identity with him, keep him in the friend zone or ghost this situation immediately. He’s just going to stress you and force his own motives, making you feel you’ve lead him on. He’s not the move, sis.

Know what works for you

Bisexuality doesn’t mean everything goes. That’s why it’s a good idea to learn your likes and dislikes so that you can set boundaries accordingly. Every bisexual woman isn’t into threesomes. If this is you and you prefer to not bring a third party into your bedroom, it’s important to share this with your partner. If you’re still learning and haven’t figured out how you feel about including a third party, let your partner know this also. Saying things like…”I don’t want to be pressured into any sexual encounters I’m not one hundred percent onboard with.” or ” My attraction for women is not an invitation.” will set the tone. Also, remember that just because you did it once, doesn’t mean you have to do it again.

For women that may be more open with their sexuality, it’s important to set the tone you want to embody in your heterosexual relationship. If your best friend may become your sexual partner on a random night after a few drinks, this should be expressed in your relationship. Choosing a partner that isn’t territorial or against sharing is probably your best bet. If it’s OK or not OK for your partner to pick out women for the bedroom, make it known. Put as much on the table as possible to keep any possible confusion at a minimum.

Communication is Key

There are people that will suggest that bisexuality can’t be turned on and off. But the truth is, if you’re gay as the rainbow on Sunday and strictly dickly by Monday morning, who’s going to pop you? What you do in your sex life is your business. However, when you involve another individual you definitely want to be as transparent as possible. Be open regarding your sexuality but let them know that just because you’re batting for both teams doesn’t mean you’re the key to accomplishing their sexual desires. But if you are, let that be known, too.

if tonguing down sticks or splits or both works for you, it works for us, too. How have you approached your love for the same sex in your heterosexual relationships? Chime in below.

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