Uhhh, this ain’t it! How to tell your man he’s not hitting it right without bruising his ego

Let me jump straight into this because it’s something that a lot of women go through and honestly, we don’t talk about it enough, but have you ever been anticipating bomb ass sex with someone only to leave disappointed, pissed off and STILL hot? The only thing I can think of that’s worse than a bad sexual exchange is hearing about a how great the food is at a certain restaurant and you eat there and it’s terrible. Allow me to set the stage for y’all, if you will. So you’ve been seeing this guy. Y’all have gone on a few dates, had great conversations and you seem to have amazing chemistry. Throughout the duration of y’all getting to know each other, of course sex comes up. He sells you this dream of how he’s gonna put it down and turn you out and you, my girl, are taking him at his word. The day finally comes and you’re ready to see if homeboy can back up all the shit he’s been talking and then….it’s mediocre at best. You’re lowkey crushed, but you like him so you talk yourself into trying again because after all, everyone’s entitled to bad day right? But after a few attempts, you come to terms with the fact that, THIS AIN’T IT! I know I’m not the only one.

Now that would be all fine and good if there was a mutual agreement that this ain’t it, but homeboy is CONVINCED he’s putting pound game down! He’s still talking a good game and so much of you wants to humble him, but the truth is, men are more fragile than they care to admit. So while I agree, you shouldn’t lay there and let him think shit is sweet, I also believe there’s some benefit in doing so gently. Let’s jump into it.

If nothing else, be vocal. Say it in your sexy voice if need be, but it is imperative to communicate your likes and dislikes. In a perfect world, people would be able to read minds and they’d automatically know what we like, but that isn’t always the case. My next course of action would be to guide him. I know, I know. We’re too old to be teaching grown men how to please us, but unless you want him using teeth while he’s giving you head or constantly missing the clit (tragic), I’d suggest you grab his head and guide him to where he needs to be. Same with sex. Guide him through. If his stroke is more on the jack rabbit side, guide his pace. Slow him down. My last thing is to simply take control. I, for one HATEEEE to ride for no other reason than I’m out of shape and I get tired fast (this is a no judgment zone.), but I’ll endure to make sure that I can regain control of the situation. If all else fails, be honest. Let homeboy know that you tried, but y’all are just not sexually compatible. Hey, it happens. Some people go on to be great friends after realizing it just wasn’t there for them sexually, but the key is do it gently..or ghost him. Your choice.

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