Why ditching your friends is a form of Self Care.

Author: Ranata White – Updated: Feb 2

I know, I know. You’re probably thinking, why would I ditch my friends? I love my girls. I get it. I love mine too, but here’s the thing. Picture this. It’s Friday night, the groupchat has been buzzing ALL DAY! Everyone is gearing up and pre-gaming, ready to pull an all nighter and there’s nothing that you would love more than to go home, shower, jump in an oversized t-shirt and relax. But just as you always do, you put your feelings aside, put on some music and will yourself to go out. Don‘t act like you haven’t been there. We’ve ALL been there. After a long week of work, it’s normal to want to chill out. We’re all adults and life is constantly happening. Simply put, sis is tired AF!! It’s me! I’m sis. You’re sis.

They always say, the first step to recovering is admitting you have a problem, so here goes. I am a recovering people pleaser *inserts deep sigh of relief.* Now if you’re on the road to recovery like I am, here’s some things you need to know about staying strong and not relapsing. Before we get into that, let me clarify. I love and live for a good Girl’s Night Out or a Brunch sesh, but sometimes we just need time for ourselves. A lot of times we run ourselves in the dirt to be at every birthday dinner, every function and let’s be honest, it’s exhausting! But of course, if you have people pleasing tendencies, it may be hard to draw that line. It may be difficult to say enough is enough. So why do we do this? Is it because we don’t want to be seen as the bitchy friend or the non supportive friend or the Debbie Downer of the group? Am I a prisoner of my loyalty to my friends? If those thoughts are consuming you, it’s time get out of your head and let’s get into these tips on how to gracefully or not so gracefully ditch your girls.

Apart of being a people pleaser is having a hard time saying no. So if you’re not quite there yet, try this out. I’m sure we’ve all seen the classic Chick Flick Mean Girls. Take a page out of Karen’s book and make up an excuse not to go.

Set boundaries and compromise. Designate a certain day that’ll be Girls Night out. At that point, it’s on you to uphold your end of the bargain.

Simply say no. Remember that no is a complete sentence. You don’t have to explain to anyone why you’re doing what’s best for you. Your true blue friends will understand and anyone who doesn’t, bye!


So now that we’ve covered that, I want to make it perfectly clear that it’s ok to choose you. And also, getting rid of those people pleasing tendencies won’t happen overnight. It takes some discipline, but stay strong. You got this girl!

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