There’s been much talk about being on the market, some positive and some not so positive. Regardless of the rumors we believe that the getting is still good but there’s a few things we must do to make sure our options are worth picking…
Spread Your Wings
I recently had a conversation with a few of my friends regarding the dating scene and to my surprise, three out of five of my girls felt the singles market was a bit of a struggle. I kept hearing the same phrase… “Ain’t shit out here.” It really got me thinking and initiating this conversation in other single female groups and what I found was the total opposite. I thought about the people who felt bitter towards the dating arena, where they hung out, what they do with their spare time and it made me wonder if they were limiting their options based on their surroundings. My friends who travel more and are open to new experiences felt the block was pretty hot. If you’re dating or looking to start dating, you definitely have to put yourself out there. If you keep hanging out at the same old neighborhood bar, there’s a great chance that every guy approaching you will be one in the same. Spread your wings, sis. Love is in the adventure.
Don’t Waste Your Energy
It’s so easy to become infatuated with a new situation. The physical attraction is there and the vibes seem to be pretty heavy but when it comes to pursuing you or initiating quality time, your guy keeps missing the target. In the words of Steven Harvey “Men are natural born hunters.” If your love interest is interested enough, sis, he will apply pressure! I’ve never seen a man not go after something he wanted regardless of the circumstances. As women, we get wrapped up in how we feel and what we want and try to convince the next person to feel and want the same. Put that energy into the guy that’s investing his time and energy into you and watch magic happen.
Get Your Shit Together
So, now you’re single but does that mean you’re actually ready to enter the dating arena? Let’s check: Have you moved on from your ex and healed from the past relationship? If cheating was involved have you dealt with your trust issues? Have you done the self work to make sure you’re “WHOLE” and not giving someone a half-assed version of yourself? If you’ve answered NO to anyone of these questions… back away from the dating scene. You must prep for dating just like you’d prepare for anything else. This can be getting active in church or spirituality, joining the gym, or seeing a therapist to name a few. The last thing you want is for the right candidate to pull up and you miss your bus ’cause you can’t hurry up ’cause you’ve got too much stuff’ in the words of the great Erykah Badu.
Dating may not be easy but it should be fun and your love is out there waiting on you. You just have to get out there, direct your energy where pressure is applied and get your shit together.