We’ve come to terms with our children becoming whatever they want in life except a homosexual. I’ve seen mothers embrace their sons being drug dealers and mothers accept their daughters being workers of the sex industry (nothing against workers of the sex industry.) But a child “coming out of the closet” may cause a mother to feel embarrassed or worst, disown her very own child due to their sexual preference. We’ve all seen the reaction Dwayne Wade has received for doing what a parent should and simply embracing who his child told him he is. Some say he’s too young to actually know if he’s a transsexual but is this factual? At what age does one realize their sexual preference? I’m no professional but I’d have to say at least puberty and these days kids are hitting puberty as early as eight years old.
Personally, I recently had someone really close to me reveal that they are gay. Now, I did say their really close to me so of course this was not news. I’ve watch them grow up and a huge part of me has always known but their confession brought on tears and screams of joy. Just imagining someone you love hiding their true selves out of fear of what the people THEY LOVE would think of them or if their family would continue to accept them. Pretty awful. No one should have to hide who they are and if you’re a parent or family member of a child/teen that decided to embrace their truth and you’re in need of some direction, keep reading…
If you’ve reacted wrongly or said hurtful things to your child after they revealed to you who they are, its never to late to correct it. This also goes for the parent who sees the conversation coming a mile away. Honestly, regardless of your feelings, your child has already chosen. Initially, listening can make a worlds difference and the old saying “ If you don’t have anything good to say, don’t say any nothing at all” can be used here. When a person embraces a lifestyle that may be a bit uncomfortable to the people around them, in most cases, they prefer silence over negativity.
Education is always good. If your child is young you may want to do this side by side with them. Find age appropriate organizations where they can talk to people that’s experiencing what their experiencing. Of course, teach them to practice safe intercourse as you would with any sexually active adolescent.
It’s best to not look at this as a battle lost because it is certainly not. Your child is still the person you raised with all of the morals and life values you’ve taught them. Don’t be afraid to join them in their world. It can be a pride parade, drag brunch, meeting their friends or simply asking them to take you along to do something that makes them happy. You just may enjoy it just remember to remain open minded.
While your child may be a little sensitive at this time, remember that love and respect is a two way street and it is OK for parents to set boundaries that may be temporary (Just until you’re more comfortable with this change) or permanent. It’s best to put some real thought into this so that you’re not caught of guard by something that may cause you to react in a negative way. You may not want to see your child display affection with their partner at first. If you have a sexually active teen and you didn’t mind them engaging in sex at home, this may change for you now that they’re dating the same sex. Determine your boundaries and have these discussions a head of time.
Sexual preference isn’t hereditary, you may not quite understand it and that is fine. But remember to listen and be open minded.